My friend was at her first middle school PTA meeting and they had an expert speak about social media. The expert encouraged the parents to help their children to develop a brand. This really surprised me, and I still wonder– do 11-year-olds need brands? And by what age should you have decided your brand?

Clearly, I am late to this brand selecting phenomenon and remain an unidentified, brandless person. It’s like getting a vanity license plate or tattoo. Which version of my personality do I select as my brand?

Do I pick @happymarymargarita? I like her. She’s fun and would be a much better account to follow than @crankylady me who was given the wrong takeout order last night. There’s also the @obsessedwithsuitsonnetflix me, (have you seen it? It’s SO good!) Not to be outdone by the @cantmovewithoutstarbucks me. Finally, there is the @icantcookanotherdinner me who remarkably, is still the person Dale asks “what’s for dinner” every night around 6pm.

This idea of presenting yourself as a brand is fun to consider, but it also feels a little constraining. It’s too much pressure to be just that one version of yourself all the time.

If you are @ZenWoman, do you always have to present a state of peacefulness? What is that like? What about @ultimatebro guy after he marries and has kids? What does @GlamourGirl do when she loses her job and can’t buy the $600 shoes?

What do any of these brands do when life takes a turn, as it is apt to do, and you can’t present the sunny side of you without being completely fake? More importantly, if you have to carve out just one aspect of yourself, especially as a young person, what do you do with the rest of you?

I keep thinking about one of the very best brand people to ever walk this earth and who left it this week – Jimmy Buffett. I love him, his music and all he represents. His brand is beaches and boat drinks and fun and not having a care in the world. Give me some of that!

This national treasure died from a brutal and rare cancer. His last year has been nothing like what is depicted in his brand. It has undoubtedly been filled with painful goodbyes, heart wrenching moments, final hugs, last words and hopefully powerful medicine to help him as he approached his last breath.

There is no cheeseburger in paradise for someone whose body is ravaged by cancer. But could he share that? It wasn’t consistent with his brand. Granted, I am sure he and his loved ones appreciated privacy in these last months. But what if we saw Jimmy for all he was, not just the image we had been marketed and were so happy to buy?

Would we have felt strange going to Margaritaville knowing he was dying? Would sales have dropped because Jimmy Buffett wasn’t living the lifestyle of his brand? Is dying a bad PR move? Is it possible to have a brand that allows for the fully human experience?

When I was in my 20’s, I worked at a radio station. We got this new morning DJ, Gary Smith, who was off-the wall crazy. He was clever and funny and full of surprises. Alongside him, throughout his show, was our staid and serious news director, Bob Matthews.

I was sitting near Bob when someone asked him, “how come you don’t do any of that stuff Gary does? He’s always having fun and you’re more serious.” Bob said, and I will never forget it, “Gary started like that, so he can get away with it. People expect something different from me.” Bob’s role was boxed in, while Gary’s was wide open.

They had their brands. Bob was @seriousandstraightforward. Gary was @anythingandeverything. While Gary may have been more known for his fun-loving side, he could also be serious and express many emotions, not just happy all the time.

I wish that social media expert said this to those parents — if you’re 11-year-olds must have brands, help them be Gary’s: out of the box, creative and wide open.